Five Tips for Dealing with Defiance In Children

Has your child’s strong willed nature turned into all out defiance? Defiance in children can get out of control at times. When your child acts out against authority figures and pretty much every adult in her life, it’s really hard to put a complete stop to their behavior. However, there are some ways you can deal with defiant behavior without pulling your hair out.

Putting an End To Defiance In Children

Here are a few ways you can prevent defiant behavior in your daughter:

Work with your daughter to come up with rules and consequences for their behaviors:

Have her come up with appropriate consequences that she sees as fair. That way, if she acts up she will be breaking her own rules. Make sure that these consequences are carried out consistently. Any irregularities within the consequences will only encourage her to continue the behaviors.

Praise your child when they something respectful:

If your child opens the door for someone or performs some other respectful act in front of you, make sure to praise them for it. It also might be a good idea to use the word “respect” in your compliment, putting a label on their actions.
For example, if your child takes the trash out without being asked, you could say, “Wow, you really helped me out by doing that chore without being asked. That was really respectful of you.” Saying something like that will allow your child to believe that you take notice of their positive behaviors and helps them feel better about themselves.

Be patient:

Don’t expect praising your child and creating rules and consequences to work instantaneously. Change will happen after an extended period of time. It takes time for behaviors and habits to be transformed.

Plan ahead:

Make plans about what you’re going to say to your child before she expresses the defiant behavior again. This removes the emotion from your responses to their behavior and prevents you from getting into an argument with them.

One step at a time:

Don’t try to change all of your child’s negative behaviors at once. If she’s hanging out with the wrong crowd, acting impulsively, and getting into a lot of arguments, you’re not going to be able to work through all of those behaviors at once. Start helping your child with one of those issues and continue accordingly as each of those problems are solved.

Asheville Academy can help

Asheville Academy, a residential treatment center in a traditional school setting for girls 10-14, helps teen girls struggling with anxiety, depression and other emotional and behavioral issues. If your daughter is struggling, consider sending her to Asheville Academy, a therapeutic boarding school. With a caring staff and a clinically based program, Asheville Academy can help your daughter find success.
For more information about Asheville Academy, contact us today at 800.264.8709